Just Pretend
by BananaphoneBob
Summary: Pretending is just better sounding form of lying, right? Sai makes Sasuke realise that maybe … just maybe … he was only pretending to sever the bonds he made with Konoha … and Team 7 …


**Hello people!!!! Again, another one-shot I came up with while I was on holiday in Disneyland Paris last week, and I wanted to get it out of the way before even attempting the fight scene in 'The Wrong One' or the next chapter in 'Burnt Toast' so … yeah … here goes …**

**Note:**** It's only implied SasuSaku (*gasp*) and kinda … slight … SaiSasu friendship. FRIENDSHIP! Nothing more … getting them as friends is hard enough lol. Plus there will be a lot of boring flashbacks but bare with me I don't often write like this hehe =)**

**Another Note:**** I have never written about Sai before, so he may be very OOC, which I apologize in advance for =) Also, I don't really hate Sai's clothes, they are odd, yes, but it looks funny hehe =) Also, Sasuke VERY OOC because nobody's perfect =)**

**This is based near the beginning of Shippuuden, when Sai goes off with Orochimaru and Kabuto, but before he meets Sasuke.**

**Disclaimer:**** Naruto and the quotes are not mine! And the book (as far as I know) doesn't exist! I made it all up!**

**Summary:**** Pretending is just better sounding form of lying, right? Sai makes Sasuke realise that maybe … just maybe … he was only pretending to sever the bonds he made with Konoha … and Team 7 …**

**Just Pretend**

Once again, a certain raven-haired teenager sat in his dark, quiet room, crossed legged on his bed with his eyes closed. To any average person who passed by, they would either think he had fallen asleep or was meditating. To anybody that _knew_ him, they'd know he was just in deep thought about something … and most people also knew what that something was based on.

All of a sudden (or it would've been if he hadn't sensed the unfamiliar chakra) another teenage male stumbled into the room with a blank look on his face. One onyx eye flew open lazily to look at the stranger, before the other eye followed suite to take a full look at the newcomer.

A pang of annoyance shot through him as he became conscious of the fact that this boy looked very similar to him.

Tall, short raven hair, onyx eyes, very pale and an incredibly odd fashion sense. His facial expression was still blank as if he didn't even realise that he'd walked into somebody's room.

Sasuke remained silent, waiting for the boy to realise his mistake and leave his little room. After a few more minutes, the unknown boy turned to face him and pulled a blatantly fake smile while Sasuke remained emotionless.

"Oh. I'm sorry. It appears I have the wrong room. My name is Sai. I take it you're Sasuke …" The strange boy, whose name was Sai, trailed off for a second, eyeing the Uchiha up and down, as if looking for something.

"Hmm … I don't understand what Ugly sees in you … personally I think you're quite unattractive …"

Sasuke couldn't help but raise his eyebrow slightly at what Sai said. _'Ugly? Who's ugly? They think I'm attractive?'_ He thought but chose to just ignore the boy, since he was already starting to zone out and continue with his deep thinking.

"A person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal reasons."

Sasuke opened his eyes again and glared at Sai, a hint of confusion evident in them. Sai smiled yet again, waiting for Sasuke to reply.

But he didn't.

As he tilted his head back slightly and closed his eyes once again, trying to drown out this babbling stranger, said person spoke again.

"That's the definition of a Friend. I read it in a book."

Sasuke flinched ever so slightly at the word 'friend'. If it weren't for the flickering candle by Sasuke's side, Sai never would've noticed it in the dark dank hole they were currently in.

Sai smiled despite the fact that Sasuke's eyes were closed, and continued speaking.

"When I read that book after Dickless repeatedly told me too, while Ugly told me not to worry, I found that definition and it instantly reminded me of how they both speak of you. They both spoke of how you were like a brother or how they loved you so much … and I never really understood what they see in you … and I still don't really … but my point is did you ever feel like that with them? Did you ever have feelings of affection or personal reasons as to why they were their 'friends'?"

At this point Sasuke had looked up and faced Sai fully, his legs dangling off the edge of his pathetically small bed and giving his famous Uchiha Death Glare. Sai wasn't affected by it in the slightest and cocked his head to one side, waiting for Sasuke's answer once again.

"…Why are you still in my room?"

Sai smiled once again and waddled over to Sasuke's bed, sitting on it, and swirling around to face him.

"It appears you misheard me. What was the reason why they were your 'friends'?" Sai repeated, using air quotes for the word 'friends'. Sasuke glanced down at his feet for a few seconds (and nobody will ever know it was because he was trying to suppress a smile after hearing the nicknames 'ugly' and 'dickless' for the two people he was referring to), before lifting his gaze back up to Sai's blank face.

"They were my comrades. I had to be friends with them in order to get the missions accomplished."

Sai seemed unconvinced, "But are you_ sure_ that is the only reason? There was no affection for Sakura, or similarities to Naruto?" He replied, and Sasuke only decided to answer because of the seriousness of Sai's voice.

"Sakura was annoying and Naruto was an idiot. They both knew my intentions and both should've expected what was going to happen …"

"They still talk about you, you know. Plus Naruto never stops going to Lady Hokage to ask permission to come and find you and bring you back."

"Then that just proves how much of an idiot he really is. I'm not going back, I know it, Tsunade knows it, hell even Sakura knows it! Everyone should just give up trying …"

Once he trailed off and seemed in thought, Sai chose to take a book he was holding out from his pile and placed it on Sasuke's little bed table. He waited until Sasuke had seen it was there, and walked out the room without another word or glance.

Sasuke sat in his position for a few more moments, before looking up beneath his bangs and reaching out to grab the book that Sai left.

'_**How to Be a Great Friend.'**_

If it wasn't Sasuke, he would've laughed at the fact that Sai expected him to read it …

…and curse himself afterwards as he absent-mindedly flicked to the first page, where it held the definition that Sai was talking about earlier.

"_**A Friend: A person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard"**_

Did he feel that way? Yes, he supposed Naruto could be as stupid and thoughtless as a 4 year old brother, and yes, Sakura's eyes portrayed such happiness and warmth that made him flutter slightly inside, but was it really what he'd call a _friendship_?

He had told himself many times that he was going to sever the bonds from everything; Konoha, The Hokage, Naruto, and _her_ … so why did just those 12 words make all of those bonds repair themselves, if only slightly, and make him almost … _almost_ … wish he never left?

He reluctantly flicked a few pages ahead, where friendship sayings and quote were displayed neatly across the two pages.

"_**A best friend will always find a way to love you even when you have done something that u cannot fix."**_

He almost smiled as he read that first one, as if someone had happened to be walking past his last conversation with Sakura, and a few years later still heard her speak about how she would always love him no matter what.

He couldn't help but smile … yes, _smile_ … at the thought that she would still say that even after all this time …

Wait, what was he doing? He's not supposed to smile, he's not supposed to have _fond_ memories, or imagine what his pink-haired comrade was doing right now.

And he **most certainly** wasn't supposed to _miss_ her.

He sighed as he let that thought leave his mind as quickly as it entered, and looked back down at the book to find another quote that practically screamed at him.

"_**Throughout your life you will meet someone who is unlike any other, you could talk for hours and never get bored, you could tell them things and they won't judge you … this person is your soul mate … your best friend don't EVER let them go"**_

An unwanted memory suddenly came flooding in at this quote, and Sasuke let it in willingly.

_-Flashback-_

"_Only I can kill that man."_

_He stood a good distance from her, his back facing her so that she could not see his face. The wind blew their hair menacingly, as time to get the bells was running thin._

_He heard her gasp slightly, and a quiet "What…?" escaped her mouth, and if it wasn't for his ninja hearing, he may not have even realised she'd spoken._

"_You mean Sensei?"_

_He almost rolled his eyes, had he not been trapped in the memories of his past. He thought of how much she annoyed him and wondered why he was still talking to her and not going after Kakashi and the bell, but let that thought slide as he continued to talk._

"_I was crying at the time…"_

_He didn't know what possessed him to do it, but something in the back of his mind made him tell this pink-haired girl something that nobody else ever knew … maybe because he also knew in the back of his mind that she would not judge him for it._

"_Crying…?" She muttered quietly. He knew he was confusing her with his cryptic words, but chose to carry on, thinking if she figured it out, good for her, and if she didn't, then it didn't matter anyway._

"_My…-"_

"_What? What are you talking about?" She interrupted, and he didn't blame her. He shouldn't have even started talking about it. She didn't mean anything to him right? So why was he confiding in her and trusting her with his secrets?_

"_I'm an avenger. I must become stronger than him. I don't have time to stumble here."_

_Though it was barely noticeable, he shifted his head ever so slightly so that he could look at her from the corner of his eye. Her jade eyes widened as she remembered something … probably what he had said during their little introduction speeches._

_The sound of an alarm rang in the near distance, bringing both of them to a halt. She froze, while he looked down and cursed. Why did he have to talk to her? Why did she have to be there? They both should've been searching for Kakashi to get the bells. Now their time had been wasted._

"_Damn it. I wasted my time talking."_

_And with those words being said, Sasuke walked off, leaving a still frozen Sakura in her place, staring after him, wind blowing her hair in front of her face._

"_Sasuke-kun …"_

_-End Flashback-_

He looked back at a certain line in the last quote he read.

"_**You could tell them things and they won't judge you …"**_

She never judged him about _any_thing … she told him she would always love him and would do anything for him. Hell, she even offered to come with him to Orochimaru's hideout in order to help him achieve his goal.

He also swiftly remembered that she was the only person who knew about his curse mark for a very long time – she had sworn to secrecy without being told to and he trusted her and believed she wasn't going to tell anyone … except for the Chuunin preliminaries, but that was purely because she wanted him to be safe and unhurt.

'_Just like I tried to leave you'_

"_**Throughout your life you will meet someone who is unlike any other …"**_

She was definitely unlike any other. Her soft (by the looks of it) pink hair and sparkling jade eyes had already made her different, but deep down she wasn't like anyone else. She wasn't like that Ino or any other of his fangirls. They loved him for his looks, she loved him for himself.

He couldn't believe he had only just realised this.

Boy, was he dense or what?

"_**You could talk for hours and never get bored …"**_

Okay, so they didn't exactly have many long conversations, but the conversations he did have with her (be it only a few words said each time) he never got bored with.

He tried to think of the longest conversation he had with her, and there was a very slight pain in his cold heart as he realised that it was probably the last conversation they ever had. And it wasn't exactly the best one to remember. He could remember every detail and everything that was said that night, and wished the memory didn't come back to him like an old video…

_-Flashback-_

_Pink._

_All he saw was pink as his comrade blocked his path, confusion written all over her porcelain face._

_He continued walking towards her, as if he didn't notice her (if only it was that easy) as the confusion soon turned to understanding and sadness as she spotted the rucksack on his back._

"_What are you doing? Wandering around here at night?" He said, coming to a halt not too far from where she was standing and staring at her inquisitively._

_She hung her head slightly, yet remained quite confident._

"_Because in order to get out of the village, you have to take this road."_

_Once again, he had to stop his eyes from rolling as he walked around her without a moments pause._

"_Go home and sleep." _

_Not once he looked back, not once he stopped walking. That was the way he wanted to leave. Not looking back, not stopping for any inconveniences. _

_Because they only made it harder to turn back around and walk away._

_He thought that she was actually going to let him go without any fuss, as she remained in her place, not saying or doing anything as he walked around her and didn't stop._

"_Why?"_

_Her voice was already broken slightly, so he knew she was crying. He didn't want that to happen. He never wanted his leaving to be like this. It was supposed to be quiet … nobody was supposed to have realised that he was trying to go._

_But of course, this was _her_._

_And she was going to know._

_He heard her footsteps shuffle slightly, a sign that she had turned to face him. He chose to ignore it and carried on walking, hoping to Kami that she would just leave him be._

"_Why won't you tell me anything? Why do you always stay silent? Why won't you say anything to me?"_

_Oh how unaware she was._

_Did she not realise that she was the _only_ person he told anything to?_

_Clearly not._

_At this point he decided to step in. Pretending he didn't care. Like always._

"_Why do I have to tell you anything? It's none of your business. Stop concerning yourself about what I do."_

_He tried to block out the sound of her sniffs, tried to block out the image of her crying, once again, because of him. But to no avail._

"_You've …always hated me, huh? Do you remember …the day we became Genin and when our three-member team was first chosen? The day you and I were here alone … you got mad at me, remember?"_

_Of course he remembered. He could never get that day out of his head. The first time he called her 'annoying'. True, she was exactly that back then, but things had changed. He had changed. She had changed … and his feelings had changed. _

"_I don't remember."_

_But sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind._

_He heard her gasp, and could tell she was crying more rapidly now, as her breath was shaken and her voice was broken._

"_Makes sense … that was something that happened a while back …"_

_He could've laughed. After all he's put her through and she was _still_ trying to back him up and make his answers the right one._

"_But that's the day when everything started … you and I … also Naruto and Kakashi-Sensei. The four of us completed a number of missions together. They were tough and a lot of work but … above all … it was fun! I know about your clan, but revenge … that won't make anyone happy. No one …neither you … nor I."_

"_Just as I thought … I'm different from you guys. I walk a different path than you guys. I tried to think that it was my path to do the things we've done up until now. The four of us did things together, but my heart decided on revenge in the end. That is my purpose in life. I can't become like you or Naruto –"_

"_Are you going to choose to be alone again?! On that day, you taught me that solitude is painful! I understand that so well right now …" – He had to refrain from biting his lower lip as his eyes saddened slightly. – "…I have a family, and I have friends. But if you're gone …" – S he took a step forward, towards the raven-haired boy – "… To me …it'll be the same as being alone!"_

_He felt sadness deep down as he reflected on the good memories he had with Team 7… Kakashi … Naruto … and her._

"_From here on …a new path will open for all of us."_

She took a few more steps towards him, and he stayed still and silent, waiting for her to say the words he knew would kill him inside.

"_I … I love you so much!"_

_And there it was._

"_If you stay with me, I'll make sure you won't regret it! Every day will be fun. We'll definitely be happy. I'll do anything for you. Please! Stay here! I'll help you with your revenge. I'll do something. So please stay here … with me! If you can't stay … take me with you …"_

_That was out of the question. He wanted her to be safe, not killed because of him! _

_Unknown to her, he wanted to turn around and apologize … he wanted to tell her his feelings … he _wanted_ to spend the rest of his life with her …_

_But what he wanted didn't matter …_

_Because he _needed_ to get his revenge … _

_No matter what the price was …_

_He turned slowly to face her, and felt his heart sink at the sight of her crying self. She could barely hold herself together now … it was the only time he could say what he desperately wanted to keep inside. He wanted … no needed … her to let go for good._

_And it killed him to say what was next._

"_You really _are_ annoying."_

_Her eyes widened as she gasp and froze to the spot. He knew she couldn't believe he said that after everything she confessed. _

_Why couldn't she understand that this was for her own good??_

_Girls …_

_He turned back around and started walking again, trying to get away from that place as quickly as possible._

"_Don't leave!"_

_She ran forward a few more steps, before stopping and breathing heavily._

"_If you do … I'll scream!"_

_He vanished into thin air and appeared behind her, feeling her warmth due to how close he was. His breath tickled her neck as she was once again frozen to the spot._

"_Sakura …"_

_He couldn't believe he was about to do this._

"_Thank you."_

_She gasped a 'Sasuke-kun…' as he hit her on the head, knocking her unconscious._

_He placed her on the bench and stared at her for a while, before disappearing into the night._

_-End Flashback-_

How did he remember that conversation so well?? Ever since that night he has been plagued with nightmares of it, images of her broken down self that would never leave his mind.

He shook his head slightly and flicked to the next page, where there was a picture of three friends laughing with each other and having fun.

-crack-

He looked down and realised that he had snapped the book in half. He frowned slightly before trying to push it back together. When he ended up breaking it more due to his strength, he threw it across the room, leaving it in a broken pile in one of the corners.

An explosion from nearby shook his bed slightly, and in a poof of smoke he left his room and reappeared where the explosion had taken place.

He stared at the boy named Sai, figuring that he must've caused the explosion to take place. Said boy stared up at him as well, before out of the corner of the their eyes a head of pink ran towards Sai.

'_What … how could she be here…? Why is she here?' _Sasuke thought involuntarily, as his heart leapt slightly at the thought of seeing her again, but continued to glare at Sai.

She reached Sai and he broke the stare to look at her breathing heavily, not looking to happy.

"Sakura, huh?"

He couldn't help but call her name out. The name almost sounded foreign to him, yet he pushed that thought aside as he fixed his gaze directly on her.

Her eyes opened wide in surprise as she froze (he seemed to notice that she did that a lot) before slowly turning her head to look at him from feet up.

"Sasuke-kun …"

Hearing his name come from someone that wasn't an annoying doctor, perverted Snake or (now) a strange look-a-like was almost a blessing to him.

And the fact that it came from _her_ made that blessing even sweeter.

Naruto appeared at her side, and his soft gaze on Sakura instantly switched to a cold glare at Naruto, who returned it more than happily …

… Just like the old days …

And that was when Sasuke knew …

That saying his bonds had broken was just pretend …

**Well there we go. I know it wasn't my best work, but I have NEVER written anything like that before. I hope it was alright for you! 10 pages long on Microsoft Word! Boohyeah! xD **

**I've never done a someone-centric before … I've always written pairings … and I know it was a bit more than just implied SasuSaku but I really couldn't help it! The words just came out! **

**I never realised how long it took to get the exact words from the Naruto episodes for a story! I haven't even done flashbacks for … Gosh knows how long … but please review and tell me what you think!! **

**Constructive Criticism is allowed! Just nothing too over the top! I need to know how to improve!**

**And please, if you're going to favourite it or add it or me to alerts then please leave a review as well so that I can tell that you really think it deserves to be favourited or alerted.**

**I think the next thing I will update is 'The Wrong One' as soon as I figure out how to do good fight scenes … but anyway …**

**REVIEW PLEASE!!!!!!!!**

**Over and out,**

**-x-Emma-x-**


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